Mission Accomplished

To-do list completed. I even managed to go grocery shopping and have a visit from Naomi and the kiddos. My house was a complete disaster. From now on vacuuming will be first on the list and done first thing in the morning. While they were here Bryson insisted that I learn how to tie a baby wrap so I could carry Kathryn when I babysit. He's such a funny kid. Now I can spend the rest of the day knitting. Yay!

To Do Lists

The secret to a to-do list is to keep it short. I have the habit of making super long lists and coming up with things to do that don't even need doing just to create a list. It gets to the point where making a to-do list gets put on the to-do list. I've discovered that if you make them short they get done. Usually it's only a few things that really need doing anyway.

Today's list:
1. Vacuum
2. Clean the kitchen
3. Finish the ribbing on Anais top (from Power of 10)
4. 2 loads of laundry to fold
5. Make Pumpkin soup

La DeeDa

La DeeDa, that's how I've gone through the last few days. I've been keeping busy doing everything except the dishes and vacuuming which desperately needs to get done.

I don't know what I would do without the IFC, that's the Infertile Club. They are two friends (Yes, I have friends. That joke is so old.) We are all in the medical field and all share the fact that we are childless and LDS. We have probably too much in common. We even joke about writing a book. They are fabulous! Last night it donned on me that we are a combination of the Ya-ya Sisterhood and cast of Steel Magnolias, only younger. Today at breakfast I had to ask if maybe we were always going to be "bitchy". Of course we don't think we are; blame it on the hormones. It's the Clomid talking! Anyway, they are just great. They are the kind of friends who don't ask if there is something they can do for you, they come over and cry with you. There is no faking it with them. They get it, they have been there.

Today we had breakfast and then I babysat for another friend who has three of the cutest kiddos. She is a Saint and one of the only pregnant people I didn't hate while she was pregnant. I even attended the birth of the last munchkin. At least I was there for the delivery of the placenta. It was hilarious! I sped home from Dixon in 35min which is usually an hour drive trying to make it. I came in just after she had delivered when her three year old comes to the top of the stairs and yells, "Hurry Yunet, we're waiting for the placenta." This is the same kid that explained to me that "the yucky stuff is called vernix." This was six months ago, so the little one is getting big enough to be left home for a few hours at a time which means I get to come over and play.

So that's how I spent the day, breakfast with the Ya-ya's and babysitting. Mutual topped if off and now we're going to watch a movie we started watching yesterday. I made John turn it off yesterday when it got scary, but now I don't know if the serial killer is really the killer or not and if he was ever caught. If I'm ever going to sleep again without having to fall asleep on the couch then I guess we have to finish it. I'll just peek through my fingers during the really scary parts. I should have figured. The title is Disturbia. I'm not sure what we expected.

Be Tough

When I was little, if one of my sisters or I fell we were told to "be tough." There weren't a lot of tears, it was just "be tough." And it wasn't just if we were hurt. If we were on "high adventure" and were scared it was, "be tough". And we were. We were some of the "toughest" little girls you've ever seen. It didn't come so much from Mom as it did from Dave. Not that there was anything wrong with it, or that it scarred us or anything. But I think that it definitely shaped an attitude of "toughness" in all of us. I have always been "fine" when asked if I was okay, even when I clearly wasn't. This morning when Mom asked if I was okay of course I responded "fine" and when she said, "you know it's okay to cry?" I thought, "since when?" But I should explain.

We have been in contact with a birthmom and her family. Lots of phone calls and e-mails have gone back and forth between us, them, attorneys, facilitators, etc. We knew from the beginning the situation would be difficult and that it would most likely end in family court, but in the end we had to make the decision to back off. There was still a small chance that the birth father could have a change of heart and there has always been of the possibility of CPS getting involved. But no luck.

Malea Ray was born on Friday around noon. It sounds pretty, but I don't like it. It means "uncertain" in Hebrew. She was scheduled for a C-section due to some complications, but she wouldn't have it. Luckily, she was caught by a nurse after a few hard contractions before they could make it to the delivery room. She was 6lbs 7oz and 18" long. I got this information after I couldn't stand it anymore and had to call Fran. (Fran is the grandma and a saint.) I had to know if she was okay. She is in the NICU for observation, but she will be okay. I had to ask if she had lots of hair, and she does. Lots of black curly hair. I bet she's beautiful. I've dreamed about this little girl. She even has a name. But I'm not her mommy. It was close, but not this time.

Friday I cleaned out the car, installed the carseat, and packed a diaper bag just in case. I got a message from Inez (a her0!) from Chicks in Crisis, and when later in the afternoon I didn't get a call, I drove to Elk Grove to deliver some diapers and other things this organization needs to kill some time. Yesterday we went to Lake Tahoe for the day with some friends to kill more time. And this morning, I broke down and made the call. She was born. The dad was on his best behavior while at the hospital and our mom will probably be discharged today. But at least I know she is okay. At least for now. I will spare you the yucky details, but trust me when I say it breaks my heart to think of this little girl being raised in this family. The best we can do now is pray for her safety and pray that she can be the catalyst for change in these people's lives. I'm going to leave the carseat and diaper bag in the back seat for a few more days just in case. CPS will be doing an investigation and there is still a small sliver of hope that they will think beyond the definition of the law and do what is right by this little girl.

Through all of this I don't know if I can say I've learned any more or what the purpose is, but I know the same two things I've always known. #1. There is a God #2. I'm not Him. In the mean time, I'll "be tough". Just please don't ask me if I'm okay.

оставьте меня в покое

Russian for "leave me alone!" Nice, huh? One of the nurses I work with has been teaching me Russian phrases. I can also say "I don't speak Russian" "You're making dinner" and a few others. Nothing too helpful but she cracks up every time I say something. It makes work more fun when you work with fun people. Today was my last day as unit manager. Yay! I have attempted nursing management once more, and again have decided that it is not for me. Salary in nursing = sucker! I will be staying with the same facility in an on-call position. This will work well if something in our home life changes (aka mommyhood) but also gives me the flexibility to have the holidays off! Double Yay!

Power of 10

My mom got this theory in one of her quilting newsletters. The theory is that when you work on a project you tend to get bored after awhile and then move on to the next project without ever finishing the first one. (I tend to be a little more neurotic and work on a project until I'm done, but it sometimes takes the fun out of it.) The recommendation is that you pick ten projects and then work on a project for no more than three hours and then move on the to the next one. You keep rotating through the ten projects until you complete them and move new ones into their place. This way you finish things without getting bored.

So I'm going to try it. I'll keep a list of what I'm working on.

#1 Anais top (knit)
#2. Turning 20 Quilt with Amy Butler fabrics

#3. Suede Baby Booties (knit)


#4. "D" is for Dog (cross stitch)


#5. Quick to Knit Plymouth Toddler Jacket


#6. Beginner Lace Wrap (knit)


#7. "Hope and Flowers" cross stitch


#8. John's BYU quilt

#9. Margarite's Quilt

#10. Hemstitched Crochet Edge baby blankets (Only two more left!)

Catching Up!

One week into this and I'm already breaking "the rules of blogging" and not writing every day. Don't worry though! Our lives are mostly boring and you're not going to miss anything.

Yesterday was college football day which means John watches the games on-line on one computer and the stats for the other games he can't watch on his laptop sitting next to him. This goes on for about six to eight hours each Saturday unless he's got some Scout thing or Eagle project going on. Most wives hate football season, but not me. So long as he keeps the fireplace going I can read or sew or knit all day long and he doesn't notice. Even better is that I can go shopping and be gone for hours at a time and he's not going to say a single word about it.

Since I'm not working as much these days (by my choice), I've curbed some of my shopping habits (at least yesterday) and spent the day reading. I finished two books on my current list. Midwives and the Breath, Memories one. Midwives was good, the other one not so much. When I read on the couch Ani and Jedi have to read with me (mostly because it is warm in front of the fireplace) but it sure makes cute pictures (I'll post these later today).