Toast

I got a little bit of attitude from another Mom-chick a few weeks ago.

"Do you have just the two?"

What the what? Ugh. For the sake of me ripping your head off and using it in the next tether ball tournament we'll just go with, "Yes. I have two children." And I walked away.

JUST (insert MAJOR eye rolling, me biting my bleeding tongue and choking on a rant, a couple of expletives, and that she can kiss my white, lily...) my two children are keeping me on my toes at the moment.

You never know what is going to come out of Scrunch's mouth. The weekend was filled with hiding from "pink monsters". I practically had to wrestle the Tinkerbell wings off her to fit in the car seat yesterday. That's besides the multiple times she's asked me, "Mom, can I drive?" Oh, and how about after getting after her for something she turns, "How 'bout you be Scrunch, and I'll be the mom?"

The other morning after getting up at six am I told her she should go lay down and try to go back to sleep. "I can't. I have to play. I have all my ideas." Isn't that every toddlers response?

She also told me, "Mom. I speaked with the Lord."
"Uh. huh? What was that?"
"Mom. I speaked to the Lord."
Trying not to die laughing. "Well, what did the Lord say?"
"He said I'm here to find my family."
"Well, who is your family?"
"You're my family!!!" with all of the duh! look a three year-old can muster. This little conversation shut me up in a hurry. Oh, holy crap! I'm toast.

Then there is this little gem found on my husband's phone.



I don't know if I should be more concerned that my less than nine month old is trying to color on the wall, or that my husband is likely to just laugh and video tape his playing with matches.

It is so much harder than it looks to not laugh. Yup. I know it. I'm toast.