How Karma Works

I was taken off guard by how bloody rude he was. I've dealt with my share of crochety patients, but Dude! Cut your nice, young nurse some slack! I puked in the car on the way over here. Does that count for nothing? And now it's taking all I've got to keep my fake nicey-nice smile cemented in place. Really, it's your leg. Wanna be a jerk? I can't care more than you care. At one point when he practically shouted at me, "What the hell do I care? Do whatever you need to do!" I actually had to remind him, "Sir, it's your leg." I kept calm throughout the entire two hour ordeal thinking to myself, "Karma. Karma. Karma. He will get his." And then, even though I could give the injection with my eyes closed, one hand behind my back, and underwater like those daring magicians, I might have missed the first time and poked him twice. Hard. Oops.

Unfortunately for me, that is not how karma works. She likes to manage her own business and when I felt the need to speed the process along, I left myself wide open. That night I came down with the flu and I swear it was the jerkwad's fault. He started it.

My time for redemption came less than a week later. I really, really, really did not want to go see this new patient. Ex-con, drug use, alcoholism, traumatic brain injury, depression, and living in a hotel. And not the Hyatt or even the Extended Stay America. A $39.99/night hangout not far from the river and not much of an upgrade from sleeping under the overpass. During the visit he mentioned that the only reason he didn't go back to sleeping along the river was because he knew it would take less than 36 hours for his arm to become re-infected, and this time he would probably lose it. I was scared going out there, and I was a little uncomfortable while I was there. But I was calm, and I make it a habit to treat all my patients the same. Whether they are the filthy rich attorney asshole from the week before or this poor homeless shlub. It is all about karma.

I really believe the Universe keeps track of stuff like this. Be nice, and most of the time the Universe is nice back. Sometimes really, really, really nice. I thank my good karma for finding these chairs along the side of the road while I was out caring for more poor shlubs today. Thanks for letting both of them fit in the car. Thank you for giving me the pleasure of making a return call to my sister. "Neener!" "Neener!" "Neener!" She mocked my buying orange velvet chairs off the side of the road, taunting me with stories of the poor old lady who might have died sitting in one. Thanks that I had the good sense to Google before busting out the spray paint and upholstery stapler. Turns out they are legit and worth a few hundred dollars a piece. They match my rug perfectly!

The pic of my new beauties was taken with my phone. They are not as garish-ly orange as they look. They are beautiful. And if you don't think so, well, we don't have to be friends.