Saturday, November 2, 2013

In regards to my previous post...

To Do list? I'm sorry. Did I say, "To-Do" list? I meant to say Suggestion List. Or perhaps Possibility List. Like 'You Could Possibly Accomplish All of The Things You Put on Your To-Do Lists if You Animorphed Into a Humanoid Squid With Eight Functioning Arms Or You Take On a Sister-Wife or Two'.

That's it. From now on I don't write 'To-Do' lists, I write Possibility Lists. Like, "I will possibly get to it, but there's a bigger possibility that I won't."

In my defense, it rained last week. It is really hard to paint a front door if it is raining and you've only partially cleaned out the workshop. I did move the chicks outside permanently, built two garden boxes, ordered our orchard trees, bought the garlic to plant, set a date to wash apples and make applesauce, picked up our new buck and set him up with Pan in their temporary housing, and bought the bins for the barley fodder system. I kind of forgot that I had to attend an all day parent training for a super fun school activity for Scrunch today and was reminded by the fact that my sister was also coming this weekend.

I negotiated Halloween by telling my kids that they could each pick 20 pieces of Halloween candy we already had in a bowl we were supposed to take Trunk or Treating, and we went to In N Out and Home Depot instead. But they were happy and by complete coincidence were wearing orange and black. So even though I might be a loser Mom, my kids won't realize it until they are older. They got what they were in it for.

I did manage to Google everything on my 'To Google' list. But of course I did. Because I stay up waaaay too late (not sleeping) and Googling the most random subjects and other weird things. I somehow found myself on a blog of a distant cousin's recent ex-girlfriend where she talks about their breakup. And evil, hard-hearted Halloween-ditching wench that I am, I was totally entertained and even laughed. I might be truly wicked.

Other weird thoughts I've been having lately..."Where's my gun?" Tonight when were we were driving home we saw a fox run up the road and on to the corner of our property and I thought, "Where's my gun?" Whaaaat? I don't even have (nor really want) a gun. But I saw that evil, fluffy tailed little bastage and it brought out a very violent streak.

Husband remarked (after we debated about what it was), "Oh, isn't he cute?"
"No. Hit! him!!!"
"Hit him. He's going to eat my babies."

The only thing I can come up with is that I have become supremely protective of my little cheepie babies, or the artificial food coloring from my (way more) than 20 pieces of Halloween candy are starting to affect me in a weird (and a little bit scary) way. Nothing should really surprise me though. My brain is completely fried. Fried. Fried by my five AND A HALF for the love don't forget the half! year old's incessant questions about everything. EVERY. Thing. I can't even put on a movie in the car for some peace and quiet.

"Mom, is 'Finding Nemo' a learning movie?"
"Not really, but we'll be in the car for a while so you can watch a fun movie."
"Mom, can you pause it? I have a question."
"What's your question?"
"If Dory and Marlin got married could they make babies?"
"No." Followed by a ten minute conversation on (I kid you not) inter-species breeding. Do not under-estimate the potential for all moments to become learning moments.

"Mom, can you pause it? I have a question."
"What's your question?"
"What's Frauline Maria's name in real life?"
"Julie Andrews."
"Oh, can we go visit her someday?"
"No." Followed by a ten minute conversation on why famous people don't want to hang with us and why I didn't want to become an actress."

But the best of all was at the nursery while I asked the young nursery worker if they carried kelp.
"Guess what? We got a stinky goat today."
Nursery worker.."You did? A buck? What kind of goats do you have?"
Me- "Oberhasli"
Nursery worker, "Oh fun. I have a pigmy goat."
"Mom, I have a question."
"What's your question?"
"What are the two hanging things between his legs that Pan doesn't have?"
At which point the nursery worker stifles a laugh, excuses himself to check their stock, and I commence on a ten minute conversation about the difference between a buck and a wether, hormones, and what "neuted" is.

Laws. I am. so. tired.

1 comment:

cambridgeclan said...

noh questions! thank you for a little comedic relief in the morning.

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