Saturday, January 30, 2010

Waning Compassion

We recently called out our social worker for a patient who expressed concern, anxiety, and even depression over difficulty paying some of her bills. It turns out the bill she wanted payed was her cable bill.

I'm sorry, no. That is not covered under your current tax payer funded healthplan. But maybe next year. My helpful hint- get your long ass Cruela DeVil nails done less often. (Could I run for office on that?)

Thursday, January 28, 2010


I hate people with more money than they know what to do with.
I hate people with stone counter tops and family rooms designed by Candice Olson.
I hate the winner of the HGTV Dream House.
I hate people who vacation on the islands in Greece.
I hate anyone who is taking a cruise.
I hate people who are super duper organized and have their laundry folded.

I said the same thing about whining pregnant chicks and now I is one.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

One of a Kind

I am a lightweight.

Three cupcakes has given me a wicked hangover. I'm not sure if it was the pink food coloring, the sugar, or the whole caboodle but I'd like to spend the day sleeping in a dark room. Or at least on the couch watching Dalmatians, Nemo, and a little HGTV if I can sneak it past her. Thankfully it's raining, stew is in the crockpot, and Scrunch didn't get anything that involved making music or flashing lights. And if she did it would promptly be packed and sent to Grami's house. But she didn't. Thank you to you all for that.

I'm not a huge fan of flashing lights, neon plastic, and noise for the sake of noise in general. One of the biggest decisions of the year was to go plastic on the Christmas play kitchen. No joke. Hours were spent reading every play kitchen review in Cyberspace. I'm glad I did because already it has seen it's share of non-plastic food and crayons. I am a sucker for Legos, books, puzzles, more books, art supplies, and wooden toys. Ahhhh. Quiet toys. Maybe that makes me a mean mom. Or mabe it just makes me an appreciator of those things that will become family heirlooms. The one-of-a-kind presents you don't ever forget.

The easel Gramps built is a perfect example of that.

Or the hobby horse mommy made for her.

We could have swiped a card at good ole Toys R Us, but a whole lot of love goes into something like this.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Getting Big

I wasn't going to do anything for Scrunch's birthday today. Christmas was a month ago and I mean, really? Who remembers their second birthday? I went back and forth and back and forth ultimately deciding at the last minute to turn Craft Day into Come Eat Cupcakes Day.

I get to do the cupcake thing when a host of women would give anything to have kids to bake cupcakes for. I get to glue bows on cowgirl hats (that she will refuse to wear) until hours after I'd rather be in bed because that's the chance I was given. I get the Christmases. The Birthdays. I get to be the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. I get the first day of school, Halloween, and I get every day in between. There's another woman who will get none of these. Instead, she gave.

Happy Birth day Birthmom!

Thanks for being you.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Weekend Get-away

Maybe driving five hours each way for a little break seems a little excessive and unnecessary. But let us consider the facts.

Five hours of driving which I am chauffeured by my husband equates to five hours of guilt-free knitting. No laundry, no cleaning, no mopping, no bills, no Internet. Blissful knitting.

I will be greeted by homemade bread and then proceed to consume whatever "my little heart desires". Every baking whim shall be granted and the regular food can't be beat. The motto of "What do you want to eat next?" is upheld and lived by.

The babysitting is free and I can rest at ease knowing that my child will be taken care of in the same manner in which I was raised, with an added dosing of spoilage. People actually fight over who is going to give her a bath, change her diaper, get her breakfast, take her to get an ice cream cone, etc.

Access to the latest and greatest sewing machine, serger, quilting gizmos are at my disposal.

Basically, I get to do whatever I want and not lift much of a finger the entire time I am away.

I have a hard time resisting heading to my parent's every weekend.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Kid's Fashion

IMHO, (Not that you asked. But you never ask and I still tell you anyway.) the role of boy's fashion is to make the girl in his life look good. I think these little ties do just that.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Once a Month Work Out

I decided to try the Once A Month Cooking thing after my sister bought the cookbook, tried it, and endorsed the recipes. Not only is cooking an entire month's worth of meals an exercise in every domestic skill I possess, but quite a workout too. Do you know how heavy it makes your cart at Costco? I was a crappy driver before but now, forget it! Step in front of my cart and you're likely to end up in the E.R.

Three and half hours of shopping at three different stores, seven of cooking, and too many taste tests to count- I am still not finished. That's what Wednesday is for. I couldn't have done this without my poor husband's help. A nanny would be nice but I'll keep my helpful husband any day. His contribution was keeping Scrunch happy and five dozen Chocolate-Craisin Oatmeal cookies. Scrunch's contribution was feeding herself airplane style as much cottage cheese as I could shovel her direction.

Before- Counter space? What counter space? Don't hate the green. It's going. That's the other thing Wednesday is for- painting the perfect shade of green. Not this Carter's unisex puke you see here.
During- My husbands other contribution. Don't even mention the boots. Or cooking to Ace of Base. I love them both.

After- No pictures. Two words for you. Tempur-pedic. Thankfully our new bed was delivered today or this work-out might leave me unable to walk for the next month.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

What's in a name?

I've hoped for a boy since we started talking about a second child so I just knew this had to be a boy. I was so certain that I've been buying boy clothes for months. The morning of our ultrasound I told my husband that it just had to be a boy, I don't think I could find all of the receipts. So wahooo! a turtle appeared and not only do I get a little boy, but I get to be right (again) all in one!

Our naming dilemma is that our baby boy is going to be a nerd. Before you think I'm trashing my husband you've got to know that this is his theory. It can't be something too trendy or it will look like he is trying too hard. But it can't be something too nerdy or he wont stand a chance.

We tossed a few names around and actually agreed on one. This is huge because husband says my names are too weird and I say his are too boring. His name is John and mine is Yannette. This was bound to happen. But we agreed on Boden.

Then my sister came to visit.

"I love it!!" she says.

"I know right? Not too weird, but weird enough. And it could sound really professional."

Boden Blank and Associates
Dr. Boden Blank
Boden Blank Engineering

Then she says, "Yeah!! And we could call him Bo-bo for short."


This was the clincher. My husband was sitting there. See, my sister AKA Aunt Goose has a thing for nicknames.


"But honey," I start to plead knowing full well that the name has just landed on the no-way-in-hell list.

"Then he really could be anything he wants when he grows up."

Bobo's Barbecue
Bobo's Boat Repair
Bobo's Bait Shop

and for the next twenty minutes my sister and I rolled on the floor laughing, not trying to contain ourselves exploring all of Bo-bo's options.

Bobo the Bouncer
Bobo's Brothel
Bobo's Bar
Bobo's Bailbonds (My personal favorite.)

And on and on and on we went laughing hysterically and ensuring that there most definitely was no way in hell we'd be naming our son Boden now. I still can't tell you that we've actually agreed on a name since, but I can tell you what it wont be.

I know I'm going to be sorry I asked, but keeping in mind our theories (nerdy but not too. Weird but not too weird.) any suggestions?

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

What's the definition of insanity again?

Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.

See, but I'm not crazy because I am still getting different results.

What's insane is thinking that my kid might be taking a nap while I do this. Or that pop-up books might last more than three minutes.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Thoughts on Mommyhood

After an FSA playgroup, craft day, and knitting night there has been a whole lot of mommy talk going on around here. And after three different get togethers with mommy's from all different backgrounds, philosophies, and ways of doing things these are my thoughts.

Every mommy has advice to give. We all give it freely and some of it is really not helpful and actually kind of dumb.

Being a mommy is hard. Hard. hard. hard.

I felt like I deserved a medal for not losing it on my tantrumming kid this afternoon. Then I felt like a total shmuck for thinking I should get a stupid medal when I left for knitting night and she said, "Love you, mommy."

Everything is a stage.

We're all making it up as we go along.

We're all just doing the best we can with what we've got.

That's got to be enough.

Monday, January 11, 2010

What I'm Loving or Made Me Laugh (Today)

Buh- Bye builder beige. Hello Bengay.

You could get a sunburn sitting in my kitchen year round. I love that. Maybe because I'm a Leo.

The kitchen has been painted and is now re-taped awaiting a re-paint job. I am more in love with this green.

The friend's Facebook update proclaiming this as the most WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR! Girl Scout cookies being sold now!

I told Scrunch to put her toys away so we could shower. We go and I'm about to stick her in the shower with me when she points to my belly and tells me, "Put your ball away!"

Fingerpuppets. I'm wishing I'd made more so Scrunch could keep a couple.

The e-mail in my Spam. From- Mr. Steamy. Subject- Removes wrinkles instantly. So wrong on so many levels and yet so funny.

What are you loving or made you laugh today? (I'd love a good roomie story here Miq. Or a crazy student story Jess. Or a crazy anything anyone.)

Friday, January 8, 2010

What my Facebook says tonight.

The Mayor of Crazytown is on a hot old married couple date tonight. Chips and guacamole, Collective Soul, and painting the kitchen. Ow! Baby!

I should not be this excited by a can of golden yellow paint, roller, and a paintbrush. Cheap thrills.

I'm going to stop now because there are oh so many wrong directions one could head from here. Gots to keep it clean so I can post the pictures.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

This is not what you think it is.

To the untrained observer this is going to look like a belly bump pic.

You're wrong.

Sort of.

It's a picture of the sweater (ish) thing I knit in less than a week. It was my "jump start the year" project to get me feeling like I could tackle a bigger (much bigger) project besides painting the island and backsplash (tonight). I finished and wore it to work today.

So, my long held long awaited theory on belly bump pics...

People, and when I say people I mean women. Chicks. Chicks ask to see them for one of two reasons either they are going to look at them and think...
"Ugh, she looks like crap! I'm so glad I never/will never/hope I never look like that."
"She looks so cute. I hate her."
Either way it's bad for the person posting the pic. We're chicks. We're just nasty like that. But screw it. I made up the rules, I can break the rule. It's a baby bump pic on my blog. This is what half-baked looks like. So there. Call me a cow or hate me, but we can all agree knitting a sweater in less than a week is pretty dang cool!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

We're having a turtle.

I learned something new yesterday.

When you look at an ultrasound to tell the sex of a baby you're looking for either a) three little lines or b) what looks like a turtle. But to be honest it all looks the same to me.

Scrunch had climbed up on the table next to me and had her head on the pillow next to mine, but she quickly got the heck out of there and over to her Papa when the bearded dude came in. I don't know what her deal with beards is lately. The ultrasound tech started to do his thing. I wasn't paying much attention when Husband practically yelled (as far as yelling goes for my husband), "It's a turtle." To which Scrunch got excited and also yelled, "Yay! A turtle!" She then proceeded to ask me where our turtle was the rest of the afternoon.

We have progressed along the evolutionary trail from alien to turtle. One of these days we will have to acknowledge and have a conversation about the fact that we are indeed having a baby boy. This will most likely include getting her a turtle named Bobo.

KnitPicks free pattern

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Nurses Call the Shots

I wanted to be a pediatric nurse. Then I realized much of my time would be spent dealing with the parents.

I wanted to be a labor and delivery nurse. Then I realized my time would be spent dealing with women in labor.

While my nursing experience has not been in either of these two fields, I did go to nursing school and have been working for five years. I have had several experiences in both those areas, especially with women in labor. Don't ask me why. Wrong place wrong time? I may not have ever given birth, but I probably have more objective experience than a woman with six children. Your labor story is not objective. Sorry. It might be a good one, but it's anything but objective.

I have on some level been involved in and witnessed two late term miscarriages at 24 weeks, one of which I held the baby for the young woman so she could see the gender of the baby. I opted to step out of a D and C of twins when I found out I knew the woman in the OR. A c-section. Several vaginal births (because I can translate). An un-medicated hospital vaginal birth where the nurse's aide said "Put your hand here and don't let her push too fast. I'll be right back." The doc showed up after the fact to take the credit. A homebirth. And watched the birth of our daughter.

I have watched an epidural be placed. Checked cervical dilation. I am even aware how/when things can go terribly wrong. During my newborn rotation we took care of a newborn whose mother hemorrhaged and bled out. I worked all of high school with special needs children in the school district. I even had a sister who died prematurely at six hours old and remember going to her funeral.

I am no expert. I am not an OB. I am not a midwife. And I have never done this before. But I am not completely naive.

With all of that, now, when it comes time for us to deliver, we have chosen a homebirth. This was a choice we made early on and at halfway through my pregnancy, is one we continue to feel comfortable with.

For some reason when some people find out about our choice we are told every horror story they can come up with to somehow scare me into making a different choice. They must not get that I don't scare so easy. And I just get ticked when I'm punked.

I get that this is not every one's choice. I get that some people don't get it. I get that you might not get it. I get that it scares you. I get that this does not work in every situation- nor should it. I don't think this is a choice every woman and her partner (hopefully husband) should make. And I get that this is not a choice every woman will get to make.

But this is OUR choice. So to somehow insinuate that I may have made a mis-informed decision, or we don't know what we're talking about, or that I would do ANYthing to compromise the health and well-being of ANY child, much less MY child is just going to get on my nerves.

Keep in mind one simple rule-Don't get on the nurse's nerves. If I have any control over karma I may be the nurse that puts in (or worse) takes out your catheter. Something which I can do with my eyes closed, but you wouldn't want me to do that.

Now, if you'd like something to debate about- names. The subject of names has been of great debate around these parts and is even a subject I am willing to entertain. Bring it on.

Monday, January 4, 2010

What Little Girls are Made Of

I still have the finishing touches to put on the room- dust ruffle, memo board, pom pom fringe on everything, and a bigger rug.
Scrunch we're going to leave exactly the way she is.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Differing Opinions or A Post With Pictures

His idea of fun- Sleeping in the snow.

My idea of fun- Painting Craigslist finds.

What we both agree on- All things Scrunch.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Un-apologetically Random

And go on, and on, and on... I've been gone a week you know.

I am ringing in the New Year with a cold. How you can be stuffy in just one nostril is beyond me and driving me nuts. NUTS!! As is sleeping in the recliner so I don't suffocate. I've woken up during the night, made my way to my kitchen cupboard, and laid a thick glob of wasabi paste on my tongue. It cleared the sinuses. Temporarily, but long enough for me to be able to go back to sleep. This along with pregnancy induced insomnia and the fact that I was not able to fully taste and enjoy the best pecan pie I think I've ever had (next to my Gramps') has made me a little cranky.

On the bright side, only sleeping a few hours a night and having my energy back has made me really productive. I've been cleaning, organizing, painting, knitting like I did before my little alien took over. If I've learned anything the last few months it is that I really shouldn't stress over not cooking and cleaning my house. For almost four months I did what I considered the bare minimum, but was in a relatively good mood and my husband didn't even care. If something needed to be done, he did it. No one starved. And I'm pretty sure it was Elmo that has taught my kid to count to twelve. But I am glad that I am able to knit again without getting sick. I forgot how much I missed it and my knitting night!! Right about the time the puking period ended so did Husband's semester so I could go back to my knitting night.

Almost all of my New Year's Resolutions are related to knitting. If I am more organized I have more time to knit. If I do the Once A Month Cooking thing, more time to knit. If I go to the gym I will prove Don's Theory wrong that the size of your butt correlates to the amount of time you spend knitting. I have even set knitting goals for the year and cast on the first one yesterday.

For your knitting linking pleasure please turn your attention to the following...

1. Two Sweaters for Me - Liesl, Kelmscott knit-a-long

2. A pair of Socks- Jaywalker

3. Three projects involving reading a chart- Dale Tulips Cardigan, Selbu Modern, Rectangle Ulmus

4. 10 Baby Items- Me and my big mouth volunteered to do this for the Church.

5. 2 Fair Isle/Colorwork patterns- The tulips cardigan and Selbu take care of this but just for good measure I want to do Sleepy Monkey Blanket.

My energy levels better maintain, my two year old check any sort of attitude she might consider pulling, and our little alien be a good sleeper if I think I'm going to get any of this done. Isn't that what making resolutions are all about? Far fetched and unrealistic, but sounded good at the time. And yes, whether you knit or not you will be updated as to my progress. So far swatching the lace section of Kelmscott has made me an addict and I'm almost finished with the yoke of my Liesl.

I have only been able to write so long this morning because it's 9:45am and my kid is still asleep. Asleep on the floor after rolling out of her big girl bed, but asleep nonetheless. It's super cute. You should see it. Oh wait...

My camera is somewhere in the Desolation wilderness with my Husband building snow caves. He's not a Scout leader- he's just a big kid and so are his friends. It will a big dose of procrastination karma when all my Christmas pictures are lost on the frozen tundra. For those of you that have been calling, texting, harassing me about posting them- you'll have your revenge then. A surefire way to have them when you want them is to come and take them yourself. My family took me up on this on their way to take my sister to live on the frozen tundra. Funny thing, I haven't seen any of those pictures either. Not so easy, is it? Huh? huh?

Anyway, I do plan on doing something productive today. Like artwork for the walls of Scrunch's new room, my shopping list for Once a Month Cooking, painting a hutch, and I want to get past the sleeve section on Liesl. Yeah right. Tis the season to make unrealistic lists and sound full of crap.

Happy New Year's!

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