Friday, September 2, 2011

Llama, llama, I'm the Mama.

Along with the "Seriously?" and "Congratulations!" I also get one of two reactions to my pregnancy.

"Are you out of your mind?! You already have a boy and a girl." or "Good. Now you're starting to catch up with the rest of us."

Oy. Why do we do this to eachother as women? I don't think the guys do this as much.

It is this unspoken pressure that you're damned if you do, and damned if you don't that's been grating on my nerves as of late. Oh, I know. You have to make the decision that is best for you and your kid, but EVERYONE seems to know what's best for your kid.

There are certain expectations and pressures we put on each other and ourselves as women. For most things, like haircuts, outfits, cars, carpet, and paint colors, I have no problem telling someone where to stick it if they don't like it, but when it comes to screwing up my kid? I take a little more pause. I would really rather not screw this up.

For weeks I have hemmed and hawed, waffled, and waved about what to do. And so, even though I had planned on homeschooling and am a full Homeschooling supporter, I don't believe it's for every kid and most importantly not for my kid. We signed her up for Preschool today. I also don't think every preschool is for every kid. In fact, I don't think every kid should even go to Preschool, but for Scrunch- its what she needs right now. Right now, she needs more than I can give her.

These are just a few of my reasons.

- She is FIERCELY independent but also incredibly imaginative. I have to pick my battles very carefully.
-She wants to learn to read sooooo badly, but she is so independent she doesn't want me to help her with it.
-I have two little kids, soon I will have three. All of them still need me to help put shoes on, go potty, etc. Trying to add school to the mix and feel like I'm doing a good job is more than I have in me right now. It wouldn't matter as much if I didn't have a kid who was already responding to my "I don't know why's" with "Mom! Why don't you know this?!"
-Porkchop has and will continue to need additional attention, soon I will have a newborn. I can't be everything to everyone.
- I am not a glowing pregnant type. I am still waiting for the surge of energy that was supposed to accompany my first pregnancy, and we'd like to have more kids. It's hard to teach preschool with the energy of a sloth. Those preschool teachers get paid to be peppy and God love 'em for it!
-Call me selfish but I like to craft, garden, knit, and I don't think I'll ever quit my job because I like it. All these things make me a better, saner mother. There are still only 24hours in the day.
- We have access to a highly qualified, highly trained, and prepared Pre-school less than five minutes away. The setting is amazing, their ratios 1:3.

The deal closer? They have a llama named Timmy and a horse named Cowboy. My husband wont let me have a llama.

As a P.S., I am not so shallow as to have been sold simply by the farm animals. I have several concerns about public education- least of which are concerns regarding what is taught, but rather how it's taught. My background is not in education, but I don't make any decision without a significant amount of research. She is attending Preschool, but we're still exploring our options for kindergarten. She tells me all the time that, "We're growing up. Riiight no-ow." Joke's on her. She wont even start till she's almost six.


cambridgeclan said...

Seriously. It's preschool. Let her go have fun and you get a break. You're not sending her to boarding school. A lot of the time kiddos love to go have a little fun with other kids without mommy near by. She still had two years until kindergarten and you may decide then that it is not time for home yet. You'll know what's best. You're the mama.

Besides, I would want to go to a preschool with a llama too.

Marin said...

Have been wanting to contact you again :-) (smile) Still feeling like crud over here, called the midwives yesterday. I can so relate to your post. I am a sloth too. Not sure what we're going to do about preschool. My sister teaches it, my neighbor teaches it, everyone wants Maggie in their school, but she gets good preschool education at her daycare twice a week (our friend who was a 1st grade teacher but wants to be home with her girls). I'm sure it will work itself out once she gets older. I'm getting the funny comments too. I was just asked by a young girl who I was buying a sandwich from if my pregnancy was planned. Oh god, is that what things have come to?

Casey said...

I'm out of the loop...didn't know you were expecting! Congrats! And I couldn't agree more with your stance on schooling. You just have to figure out what works for you (and your kid) and don't worry about what "other people" say!

Lisa said...

Those are all good reasons, and I don't think anyone would blame you for them. As of late I have found myself wondering why we put SO MUCH PRESSURE on ourselves as women and mothers. A lot of it we do to ourselves. I find that as I quit judging, I am free to be myself and make my own decisions. Thank you for this post- I appreciate your realism.

Blog Archive