Craptober is Over!

At least if you live on the East Coast it is.

This month kicked my butt around the block in about forty-three ways. So Craptober I say to you, "Peace out! You piece of crap!"

Next month, things are going to be different. Two hours, twenty minutes, and counting...

November is National Adoption Awareness Month. Were you aware that Adoption is awesome?! Consider yourself aware-d. And as Katie pointed out, "how could Adoption Awareness Month be anything but awesome!?" No doubt. Bring on Awes-vember!

Trick or Treat

Someday, somewhere along with my tired old bones it will read:

Devoted wife, mother, and wicked wielder of a hot glue gun.

After putting the pedal to the metal and flooring the sewing machine for two nights straight, I present to you Halloween 2010. Captain Hook's hat is on the list of my greatest accomplishments. Felt and hot glue are very forgiving. A blue muumuu? Not so much.

Pictures from the patch.

Know why some heart attacks are dismissed and passed off as heart burn? Because some cases of heart burn feel just. like. that. Your heart under attack. No more peanut m&ms for me. Why do I always have to go overboard and ruin a good thing?

Anyway.

Pictures from the patch.

Freedom!

Either a huge stress has been lifted off my shoulders or these peanut m&ms work better than the fenugreek ever did! Good thing because I was starting to freak over my diminishing supply. Of both the milk and the m&ms.

Early this morning I hauled Porkchop to his appointment with Dr. G. His obturator (retainer) is working like it should and Dr. Pissypants even came over without having me sit around all morning to remove the suture and the nasal formers.

I may have been a little premature in dubbing her Dr. Pissypants. Either she was having an off day last week or she sensed my "I'm on to you and the fact that you haven't done this before and I'm not thrilled about it." attitude. Because today she was my best buddy. Win over Mom. Let that be a lesson to all Residents coming into contact with pediatrics. So, she clipped the suture, I tore off the No-nos, and walah! Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty he is. free. at. last.

Craptober's Redeeming Quality

Monday and Tuesday are mostly a blur.

Wednesday I took the car to the dealership to find the source of the horrendous metal grating sound, and Porkchop to his post-op. I splashed the Resident with breastmilk. Her reaction was that of my contaminating her with arsenic. I wanted to laugh so bad, so I did a little. She deserved it. She had no bedside manner what. so. ever. and wouldn't give me the okay to remove Porkchop's last suture myself. Instead, I get to return in a week so she can do it. She must need the practice, but I don't need the drive. Betcha a thousand I've removed more sutures than she has. Scrunch was a leapfrog the ENTIRE visit. That is until the last three minutes when she switched to a kangaroo and hopped to the elevators. Dr. Pissypants did not think this was as funny as I did.

I needed to get out of the house. Somewhere fun. Up there with food, water, oxygen. Need. So I took Scrunch on a field trip to the pumpkin patch while Porkchop stayed with Papa. It wasn't till the drive home that she noticed her brother was missing and asked where I put him. This was Thursday.

By Saturday I needed out again. The park would have been closer, but instead we went to Six Flags. I felt all She-rah!! because I pumped in the parking lot and syringe fed during the dolphin show. And it was raining! She-rah! Scrunch pet an elephant, stomped in every. single. puddle. and rode a 'copter. Porkchop rehearsed for a part in The Boy in the Plastic Bubble under my clear umbrella.This little adventure lacks adequate documentation because I left the camera on the counter. At home.

Today I dropped my phone shattering the shmancy touch screen into a zillion tiny pieces. One of these ending up in my thumb. The kiddos were over tired and cranky thanks to all of yesterday's fun. I ate too many peanut m&ms. I'm still eating them.

Craptober is on an upswing. Tomorrow they will remove his last suture and the stents. I will burn the no-nos. Halloween costumes are looking awesome, and my parent's are coming this weekend. Sweet hallelujah! We've almost made it through the month.

One for the album.

3 a.m.

Scrunch wanders into our room at the same time Porkchop wakes up. She picks up the monitor, holds it to her ear, and "PAPA!! ERICK IS ON THE PHONE AND HE'S CRYING!!!"

What we're about.

Like a good mama monkey, I just spent forty minutes picking the crusties out of Porkchop's nose. A little cleaning up while he was still sleeping for a special occasion. His one week post-op appointment is this afternoon.

One week. Good glory! Is that all it's been? It's been a long week. I didn't know I could be so tired. I used to go to school all day, wait tables at night, do clinicals on Friday and Saturday getting up at 4:30a.m. and then wait tables until midnight. Then I'd wait for Husband to get off at 1-2am. When I graduated I worked twelve hour night shifts and went to school during the day. What happened? Holly says it's because I'm getting old. That must be it. When I am really old I will be the old lady that eats dinner at 4:30p.m. and is in bed by 6:30. You betcha.

Holly also said that Monday was not Monday, it was Crapday. When I told Husband he laughed and called this month Craptober. That's all he has to say about that.

When he blessed Porkchop in August he blessed him that he might find joy and view life as fun throughout the many difficulties in his life. As his mama, I was annoyed that my husband blessed my baby with having difficulties and challenges. I'm a little more grateful now. Like it or not they're gonna come. Dang it all! That Little Turkey has been all smiles. He flaps his arms like a little bird but doesn't go anywhere. Hence, the turkey. Smiley and totally chill. That's my boy. They call him Mellow Yellow. His Indian name is Baby With The Most Nicknames EVER. At night he'd really, REALLY like to suck his thumb and snuggle his face on my shoulder two things he can't do yet. One more week.

Scrunch, is well...Scrunch. You could say she didn't ask for any of this. Her world has been a little more than unfair the last week. Or five months. But you know what? I think she knew exactly what she was doing, what Someone was doing when she was sent to this family. NO ONE messes with her brother. Only she is allowed to launch a sippy cup in his direction across the back seat. Not twenty minutes later she told me, "My brother is great." We all think she is great.

Ani and Jedi are still here. So is the cat. I think.

I've kept flowers alive for an entire year.

And it's raining here this week.