Friday, October 23, 2009

Clearing things up.

Do me a favor, would ya?

The next time you hear of a couple that is in the process/or has adopted a baby (or any child) please do not use my family as an example of "this couple I knew that adopted and then she found out she was pregnant." It is a horribly insensitive comment to make and I as well as every other mom I know that has adopted has been on the receiving end of it. Not to mention- with all due respect, you are wrong. Statistically, less than ten percent of adoptive couples ever have bioligical or natural children. Not only that, but think of the connotation that it puts on adoption....

Oh how nice! That will do in the mean time. Till what you really want comes along.

That's just stupid.

Now, you may be a little puzzled as to why I am so flippin irritated by this this morning. I've heard it from waaaay too many people who have found out that I am pregnant. And you wanna know why it pisses me off? Because I have a daughter and she was adopted. She is becoming increasingly aware of what is said around her. I have had to learn to watch my mouth. You should too. You say something that makes her feel like less or not quite enough, and I will rip your arms off and beat you with them.

I did not get pregnant because we finally relaxed. I did not get pregnant because we adopted. We did not adopt until something else came along. You adopt to build a family. There is no doubt in my mind that Scrunch is meant to be part of this family. She, with all her traits (including curls) and special personality, could not have come through any other way but through adoption.

Someone near and dear to me gave the best response to finding out I was pregnant I've had when she said, "I've got so many goosebumps they're fighting for a place to land. Both your babies are miracles."

Thank you. That's exactly what we think.

And for the record, women (who themselves have never adopted) have often commented that adoption is "the easy way". Another not very nice thing to say. Got to tell ya. You're wrong there too. For as sick as I've been, I'd take puking any day of the week over a homestudy.


Holly said...

Way to set the record straight:)

Miquela said...

See, your problem is that you are too nice. If anyone said something to hurt anyone in my family (including future)I wouldn't beat them with their own arms. I would kill them, bring them back to life and kill them again. Then they better pray that I don't find out a way to kill them again once they have been resurrected. I would hope that if I have/would ever said/say anything stupid to you that you would tell me to go eat sha-poopi and die. Or more simply F*** Off!

Katie said...

If this were Facebook I would totally hit the 'like' button! When we were pregnant Ben & I had this exact conversation and tried to figure out ways to avoid becoming the example that people cited when attempting to cure other people's infertility. Love this post!

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