Friday, October 9, 2009

Timing has so much to do with perspective.

I'd be lying if I told you I was loving being (now six seconds) pregnant.

In my mind I am hopeful and excited and still trying to figure out how our 2% chance manifested itself in a positive pregnancy test. My body, on the other hand, is reacting to the rise in hormones. While completely normal, it is totally abnormal for me to hate eating and sleeping. Two activities which have been dumped on their heads.

At first, it was a comforting novelty to be sick. After a day of cramping, some spotting, and nightly dreams about bleeding, every day that I puke is another day I'm still pregnant. I told my husband I would be sick every day until the baby gets here, so long as the baby gets here. Yeah, that lasted all of two weeks. I'm a wuss. What do you want? Not like you're sympathetic.

Are you sick?
That's wonderful.
Bite me.

It looks like an alien. It feels like an alien. So I have lovingly dubbed my belly creature Wall-e. My mom is horrified that the nickname might stick. I can tell you it probably will.

I don't want to be a whiny, pregnant chick. Really. I can't be. I hate whiny and pregnant, remember? 2% Mayor. 2%. That's not even a snowball's chance in hell, so shut up and be grateful. I prayed for this. I watched my daughter pray for this. But jeez puking wears you down!

Sick of being sick I left work early yesterday and on the way home made a phone call and left a message. "Can I be bitchy and grateful at the same time?"

The answer was...

Um. No.

She didn't pick up, but ten minutes later I got a phone call from my maternal nursing mentor and good friend. Her DIL and my due dates were a week or so apart.

"We lost the baby yesterday. She'll go in today.... You take care of yourself... I'm still praying for you.... We've got to get one of these babies here."

Oy. How did I forget why I hate whiny and pregnant?

Wall-e is alive and well and I am back to being grateful to dry-heave while driving.


Melissa and Michael said...

you know what. I think you can be bitchy and greatful at the same time. Now one likes being sick. You could win a million dollars and be bitchy and greatful and no one would give a rats. go for it. I wont complain.

Shane & Amy said...

Sounds like you have been on quite a journey to be where you are, so I think you can be bitchy and grateful at the same time. Congratulations!

Miquela said...

Take your pick it is Eve or Eva, but I think you are making a mistake calling it Wall-E, just ask Little Miss. She will tell you that it is a good girl baby.

Wilkins Clan said...

I am greatful every second for my kids and that I have a baby growing inside me but I would be lying if I said I enjoy being pregnant. The sick part SUCKS. I'm feeling much better but throwing up in the car picking up my step kids from school, not fun. My house has been a mess for two months and there has been nothing I can do about it.

As you know... the second you hold that sweet baby in your arms you totally forget everything it took to get there.

This is the one time in your life that people understand if you are grumpy and rude. So enjoy the excuse.

I'm so happy to hear that wall-e is doing really well and growing!

Angela said...

You don't have to love being pregnant. Grateful is enough. Once Wall-e gets here, you'll forget all that pregnant stuff. Or so I have been told. Hehe

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