Telling Time

Watching one of Bear Gryll's survival shows the other night, or rather watching Bear Grylls and not so much the show, he demonstrated how to tell time while lost by using the sun and your watch.

Who cares what time it is when you're in survival mode?

Whatever.

I can't remember the last time I got lost in Namibia after jumping from a helicopter, but you never know. Plus, who doesn't have a crush on Bear (husbands included) so we watch whatever he decides to show us. It's not like we're really listening. (Oh, and BTW did I ever mention that my first boyfriend's name was Bear? We never kissed. I told him I'd break his nose if he tried to kiss me. True story.)

I have my own tried and true methods for telling time while in survival mode.

#1. When your 2 year old says, "Mommy, open your eyes." Sesame Street is over.

#2. When the same two year old hides the pump tubing for the third time, it's time to put in Snow White.

#3. When your left boob feels like it's going to explode it's time for someone to eat. When the same feeling returns, it is three hours later.

That's all you really need to know about telling time around these parts.