Where does she get those curls?!?!
If I'm going to see this person more than once I usually respond with, "Her birthmom has curly hair."
And that is that. It sometimes leads into a conversation about adoption, but not always.
This (almost exact) conversation happened a few weeks ago at the lake. A friend said, "You know, you don't have to tell people. No one can tell by looking. She looks just like you guys."
And while I'm sure she meant well, 'looks' are not the only reason we discuss adoption. Scrunch will never have a sit down conversation of "by the way, you're adopted." She already knows.
While a family's reasons for seeking adoption or a birth family's reasons for placing may vary, ultimately what it comes down to is this....Adoption is awesome. Period.
I still cannot for the life of me understand what people don't get. No one has a problem with second, third, and fourth marriages. His, mine, and ours scenarios. But you say adoption and people get all whispery and hush hush. It is not a secret.
The subject of adoption, I will admit, has been on the back burner. Not because it's any less important, but because well honestly we're busy and it doesn't come up every day. But when it does come up or an opportunity to increase awareness about it both in and out of our home, we take it!
We had the opportunity to work at the LDS Family Services Families Supporting Adoption (FSA) booth at the county fair. I first volunteered us to help out a friend who is the Chair. Next time I will volunteer because it is the right thing to do. The whole experience reminded me of how important it is that we do talk about it. I got to talk to people about adoption. To clarify some of their mis-perceptions. Because I don't know if you've heard, but people are ignorant idiots. I got to see and hear people's (often times negative) reactions to it. I got to practice keeping my cool when said idiots shoot their mouths off. I didn't even beat them the wet pool noodle like I wanted to. I got to witness the awesome families whose lives had been blessed by it! Other people got to see our little girl run around like every other kid. They got to see that we are just like other families. Scratch that. We're not like every other family.
Mostly it was just good to be reminded of all the stuff we already knew.
In the two weeks since it's come up with Scrunch twice. Once while watching Spirit. The mommy horse is about to give birth but you don't see the foal yet. "Where's the baby?"
Me, "It's still in her tummy, but it's going to come out soon."
"Oh, yeah. The baby is going to come out of the mommy's tummy."
Me, "Yup. Do all babies come out of their mommy's tummy?" This is where I wasn't sure where this was headed.
Without batting an eye, "No."
"That's right. Not all Mommy's babies come out of her tummy. You came out of (insert Birthmom's name here) tummy.
"Yup." And went back to watching her movie.
Then while we were waiting for Husband to check out of the hotel in Lake Tahoe I overheard the following conversation between Scrunch and her doll Shelby (Shoopie) in the back seat.
"It's okay. You no need to cry. We'll find you a mommy and daddy. Sh, sh, sh. Don't cry. I find you a mommy and daddy."
Overhearing this I step in. "Scrunch, aren't you Shoopie's mommy?"
"No! I can't! She no have a daddy!"
I wanted to cry. Happy cry.
I don't have to tell anyone about adoption. I get to.
P.S. Happy Birthday Grady! Don't tell your mom, but I posted this picture to see if I could get her to cry some more. You were such a little nugget then!
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