Clarity

My prayers of late have been that my mind might be clear. That I might be able to focus.

(Yes, Annelle. I pray.)

The "no one is talking to me right now" "no one is crying" "no one is asking me why? or what will happen?" or "what's the guy in the check out lane's name?" moments are few. And when I get them I want to zone out and do something fun like Google Christmas present ideas and blog surf. Or do nothing.

Instead, I bargain with myself over my free time. If I work for an hour or read a chapter, then I can wishlist on Amazon. And I am very generous with myself. I even let myself eat too much Halloween candy for breakfast. Definitely too generous as I'm not as far along on my History class as I would like, but my Christmas shopping is almost done. It is easier (and more rewarding) to work and get paid for an hour than it is to write an essay on how Greek thought influenced our Puritan founders.

As the months get closer to my self-imposed deadlines, I am getting smarter. If it is quiet, get to work. This is how I learned my lesson...

As we drove to Church I thought I might write part of my essay in my head. Then Scrunch broke into my thoughts.

"Mom, are you pumping?"

"No. I'm not pumping."

"Why is it quiet then?"

"Mommy's thinking."

"How come you don't pump any more?"

"Uh. huh."

"Mom! Why don't you pump?"

"Porkchop doesn't need the milk from my body anymore."

"Oh. Cuz he drinks regular milk."

"Uh. huh."

"Yep. He drinks regular milk."

"Uh. huh."

"So, did the milk man's move out of your nipples?"

"Huh. What?"

"DID THE MILK MAN'S MOVE OUT OF YOUR NIPPLES?!?"

And so, you see, without my prayers I haven't got a snowballs chance in Hell in writing an intelligible essay.