Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Nip and Tuck

You know you're in the know when you receive the following message from me.

"Hey. It's me. I'm on the rag and feeling like a wench. So, I thought I'd call and share the love. Call me back. Or not. Whatever."

The message was intended for the person who is in the know about most things, and yes even that. What I didn't know was that while I thought we were alone walking along the bike trails, I was wrong. I didn't know the fifteen-year old dorkus behind me would hear me and then laugh to the point of almost falling off his bike.


But since some prepubescent little puke will be reciting the story to his family over dinner, I thought you might as well know too.

But wait, the day and my state of mind did not improve much.

I was sitting at the computer debating between watching Steel Magnolias for the ten thousandth time, Susan Boyle for at least the tenth, or an old episode of House. Feeling very sorry for myself and my current state of affairs, I happened to look down. The beast I'm knitting has bigger boobs than I do.

Oh, heeeaaailll no! That would not do. So I threw him in the washer.

Much better.

Now his boobs are where most boobs end up- his belly.

Be afraid. Be very afraid. I'm on the rag and feeling like a wench.


Marti said...

My kids would be the ones reciting the story at the dinner table, and can you knit me some boobs? Pre-shrink the yarn so they won't shrink in the shower!

Wilkins Family said...

He is very cute. Can I order one?

northslopegang said...

So funny...and so true. It's sad what gravity does to your body as one ages.

Casey said...

Wish I could have seen the look on the kids face as he nearly fell off the bike! LOL! thanks for the funny, I needed that!

Holly said...

Hahahaha. I love when you're bitchy!!

Blog Archive