One of the unexpected reactions to the news of my pregnancy was,
"But what are you going to tell Scrunch?"
"Wha-huh? I'm going to tell her she's going to be a big sister."
Why does this need to be complicated? It's really very simple. All babies come from tummies. Not all of Mommy's babies come from Mommy's tummy.
I would be lying if I said though that I hadn't thought about it. Not because we think about it when it's just us, but because sometimes I want to smack people. And I worry how my smacking and their ignorance will affect my children.
Incredibly, I have an ever broadening circle of girls that get it. The woman who I share a desk with at work coincidentally has been in my position. Her oldest was adopted. Her second natural. Her third adopted. And her fourth natural. If anyone is in a position to dispense me advice on this, it was her. The best thing about it is her take on parenting is she told me, "Kids are kids no matter where they come from. And you're the parent. You just love them. But it really doesn't matter whether they were adopted, you give birth to them, or from the moon- you're gonna get to deal with all kinds of stuff as a parent." Not the most helpfully sounding advice, but it helped a ton.
She did recommend to me a book and I went home and ordered it.
I Love You the Purplest by Barbara M. Joosse. It's not a book about adoption, or natural children, or parenting. It's about a mom who loves her kids. The pictures are beautiful and I've read it lots to myself.
As the family spends the day fishing, the two boys vie for attention. They ask their Mama who is the best fisherman and ultimately, "Who do you love best?"
This universal question is perfectly answered when, in the spirit of true unconditional love, Mama explains that she loves each of them in their own special way. The jubilant Max she loves the "reddest" and the quiet Julian she loves the "bluest." Together she loves both her boys the "purplest."
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