Monday, May 10, 2010

Pachydermata

I have the cankles of a pachyderm.

I've been doing everything they tell me to. Handfuls of supplements, gallons of tea. My husband even put me on lock down for two days where I did nothing but sit with my feet up. The first day I didn't shower. Thought I'd show him!! The second I only did in time to go out to eat for a friend's birthday. Sitting worked and I had ankles again. Then I stood up, and poof they were gone.

When I went to the midwives they asked if I was eating carbs.

Carbs? Huh? What carbs?

Oh, you mean carbohydrates?

What's a carbohydrate?

Oh, you mean the ONLY thing I want to eat right now!?!?

They were really nice about it. Nicer than I would have been with my non-compliant patients. There were no elephantiasis comments to be herd. (hehe)

"I know it's what you're craving. It's your body's way of storing up. You're about to run a marathon of sorts."

That sounds fantastic, only the last time I ran anywhere was....when was the last time I ran...?

You'd think my ears in my elephant-like form would be big enough to listen.

Crepes for breakfast. Rice pudding. A new batch of granola. Chips and salsa. I even baked bread. I used the bread for egg salad sandwiches. Eggs aren't carbs, right? Dinner might have been okay, except for the pasta salad. Dang it! Then three additional slices of bread. Double dang it!!

Things better get a move on before the transformation is complete. They have the gestation of 24 months!!! Oh, please no!

On the bright side, my P90X 'before' pictures are going to be better than yours! Way better. Ever see a pachyderm two weeks post partum?

1 comment:

Wilkins Clan said...

With your body type you will probably be back to your normal size two weeks after he is born. I would not worry to much about it.

I know it is hard seeing your body change but it comes back for the most part. But your boobs will never be the same sorry!

Also I do not know if anyone has warned you about what you belly looks like the few days after you give birth but scary is a good word for it. Someone told me right before I had my first and it really did help to expect it. :)

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