Monday, May 24, 2010

Thoughts at One Week

If there was a way to snort, smoke, or shoot the hormones that follow postpartum, the street value would rival that of the purest white powder. The drug war would be waged in America's maternity wards. That is one crazy trip. It takes me back to the Clomid Days except this time I've got the kids alongside Dad thinking, "Uh, oh. Bring your umbrella. The waterworks are about to start."

I wish there had been video of me getting ready this morning. Sitting on the birthing ball pumping while blow drying my hair. When the phone rang and I rushed to get it, we were seriously in the running for America's Funniest 10 Gs. That would have bought me a lot of Habermanns.

Habermann's are the special bottle we use to feed Porkchop. Until my order comes I only have one. When it grew legs and walked away last night (i.e. Scrunch wanted to feed Shoopie) I was beside myself. If I ever open an Etsy store it will be after designing a special homing device to locate these bad boys. I'll put rhinestones on them so they're super cute and Etsy-worthy.

For a dude whose supposed to have trouble eating and feeding, no one told him. He gained half a pound this week and is officially not able to wear half the wardrobe I had planned for the next two months. To prove the labeling of clothes is a racket he wore his cute Milk and Honey 6 MONTH outfit yesterday at six days. I'm so glad they don't do adult clothes. I'd wear a size 84.

Snaps on children's ware might seem like a good idea, but NOT 43 OF THEM! Cruel trick to play on a woman who can't see straight yet.

I went braless in public for the first time in my entire life today and was bustier than I've ever been. That put an extra spring in my step let me tell you. I will be pumping until he leaves for college.

Scrunch is going to keep her brother. I found her pony in the Pack 'n Play. I asked her if she wanted it and she said, "No. He needs to have it." That's a biggie.

I pumped in the Marie Callender's parking lot. Adding to the list of things done in the Marie Callender's parking lot. Husband worked there when we were dating and we both worked there for a time as newlyweds.

You've got to try their fresh strawberry banana cream pie.

My brain seems to be working again, though on a limited capacity. If it has the word pumping or pie associated, I'm all over it.


Casey said...

Boobs are amazing! Enough said. I love the etsy idea, you should run with it. Glad your brain is working, that's a good sign at one week! Hang in there!

Wilkins Clan said...

OK love the name porkchop. Total keeper if you ask me.

[AlisaR] said...

"Adding to the list of things done in the Marie Callender's parking lot."
You are hilarious.

Marti said...

Thanks for the updates! Glad to know he is eating well! So sweet that Scrunch wanted to share her pony. Awwwwww!

Christa and Matt said...

Yannette, I seriously giggled most of the way down this post and bust out laughing on your comment about the Marie Callendar's parking lot! Ha, I bet Toby & Chuck could have added a couple of eye raising things to your list.
And I have to say it was a sad day when I stopped feeding Brooklynn, I've had a renewed interest in implants ever since. Have a great day and enjoy those two little miracles of yours!

Angela said...

It sounds like you guys are getting into a groove. I certainly wasn't going out to eat at or blow-drying my hair at one week PP. You are a rockstar, Yannette.

Glad to hear that pumping and feeding are going well.

Many hugs,


Katie said...

As usual, my comment is two-(or three or four)-fold:

First, you are hilarious and this post was classic.

Second, blow drying your hair? Going in public? Crazy talk. Boston's eight months old and I still use him as my excuse to stay home and put my hair in a pony tail!

Third, I loved seeing Scrunch today. It's really not fair that one person be allotted so much cuteness. I told John that even when she's just standing there she's cute. Love, love, love that girl, and so does KiKara.

Fourth, I cannot believe he has already gained that much weight. What a little rule-breaker! I seriously can't wait to meet him.

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