Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Why 'Porkchop' and Other Clarifications

You all think too highly of me. I said I sat in the Marie Callender's parking lot. The parking lot is as far as I got. And by public I meant the pediatrician and my Midwives. Not exactly a garden party.I love them both but one picks things stuffed up children's noses and the other has given me stitches where I wish to high heaven I never needed them. Not exactly high society.

True story. Directly following labor it became apparent that I needed to be patched up. I had just pushed a bowling ball through a straw, but stitches down there about sent me over the edge. I asked her if it was going to hurt and how many and on and on like a big 'ole baby. I told her this was only the second time in my life I'd ever had stitches and I was really nervous about it. She responded by telling me that it was probably the first time I had stitches anywhere close to that region. "Um...that's where you'd be wrong. Scar. Left cheek." The only other time I've had stitches was when I sat on scissors in the seventh grade and earned the nickname "Scar." I still hate Dirk Smedley.

So about labor...I watched the video of it. It was beautiful if I say so myself. But it was not glamorous or even pretty. It was downright a little scary. Blood and guts and stuff. And puking. Oh, one day I will have to tell you about the floating bowl, but in the mean time I have decided to keep my placenta private. It can be viewed within the walls of my own home by those who show genuine interest (and compassion) but it won't be posted on Internet. THIS is where you thank me.

I HAVE to blow dry my hair or it sticks plastered to my head. Even the "wash and wear" type cuts have to be blow dried or I look like a homeless pet. This does not make me a rockstar, this makes me un-lucky at leaving the house in less than thirty minutes.

I call him Porkchop because he always looks like he's lickin' his chops. All he does is eat, and eat, and eat. Huge blessing, but Dude!! Mommy's going to need a higher paying gig to get him through football practice.


I never, never, never in a million years thought I'd be okay with the thought of my son playing football, but if he keeps this growth curve up it is that or play Andre the Giant in the Princess Bride re-make. Scrunch can be Buttercup. Maybe I'll direct it.

Most of my days as of late have been spent like this (or pumping)...and I'm kind of loving it.

9 comments:

Ashley and Dustin said...

Congrates on your little one! He is a doll! I love the fact that you had a boy because if his hair doesn't come in thick enough, you can shave it and no big deal!!! :) You should still video tape it though! How did Dirk Smedley know you sat on scissors?! That paragraph made me smile :) Good Times

Wilkins Clan said...

In the first picture porkchop looks just like you. Soooo cute!

Casey said...

Thanks for keeping it real! Oh the stitches...you have my sincere sympathies...been there done that! Love the pics, especially that last snuggly one!

mom said...

How do you keep getting such fabulous pictures with Ericks eyes open? He seems so inquisitive for a newborn!!
I think nothing will get by him. Fabulous family shot. Keep it, frame it...
See you guys tomorrow.

grandma/mom said...

So reminds me of Kirk and he did end up playing football:) Enjoy this time together it goes so quickly!

Shane & Amy said...

I miss those days of sitting around snuggling. Looks like Scrunch is lovin' him so much too! The name is cute, his lil' scooter shirt is cute and he is beyond cute. Enjoy!!

Angela said...

You look so in love with your little ones! The babymoon is the best, isn't it? You have two of the snuggliest kids.

Yikes on the stitches, I remember it well.

Holly said...

Erick's outfit is too cute! Looks like he needs another one soon:) Love the last pic. That's priceless.

The Wife said...

Congratulations on your second little miracle! You have the most yummy little kiddos!

P.S. added you to my blog list, hope its okay

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