Sunday, December 11, 2011

Wise Words

No matter how unique, how individual, and how independent you'd like to be, really everyone just wants to feel normal.

Magnify this by a kajillion and everyone just wants to think they're kids are normal. That this "stage" is just a stage and it will pass. And with any luck the whole drama and worry and angst of it all will drop out of your head and you wont remember at all what it was like to be tired, and worried, and stressed.

You'll then become completely useless to other young moms only adding additional worry and stress to them when you run into them at the park, in the pre-school parking lot, and especially at church. Because your children always slept through the night, never had public melt downs, signed five hundred words, always say please and thank you, and most especially sat through an entire hour of Sacrament without screeching, pinching each other, or loudly commenting on where to find Jesus. They aren't entertained for three hours with three crayons and some lined paper? Sheesh.

With all this not-so-helpful advice from perfect parents raising perfectly behaved kids, it is easy to slip into a "Man, I suck at this" state of mind. This can quickly morph into a "Man, this sucks!" state of mind, when really it doesn't. It just is. And most of it is normal. And even if it does for a little while, it passes and you completely forget. Have you not ever gotten parenting advice from an empty nester? Their minds are wiped.

At some point, the zombie years end and you are slipped a magic brain wiping happy pill that only lets you remember sweet first words and chubby cheek kisses. Overnight they become "the best years of your life."

There are a few women who (blessedly) retain their honest, and realistic approach to parenting. It is one of these skillfully imparted and actually helpful!! bits of wisdom that I've been clinging to as I look on my near future and think, "How am I going to do this?".

"Having a toddler in the house is a perfect time to have a newborn. The newborn keeps your heart soft so you don't kill your toddler."



cambridgeclan said...

Was that my mother-in-law, because I am pretty sure I have heard that before. Did it go along with the phrase, "nursing the baby softens you"? We all live through it somehow and hopefully we all like each other in the end.

Angela N said...

I remember Marlene saying that to me. She is such a wise woman.

No perfect kids here! I am not ashamed to admit that my 15 month old nurses and sleeps with me, my 4 year old is still potty training,throws tantrums,and both kids require nighttime parenting. So there!

Hugs Yannette! You are doing at least as well as the rest us, cuz I don't have a clue how to do it "right". I just figure it out day by day.

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