It is a bummer that my kids are probably too young to remember this Christmas. It was a good one, minus standing in line for two hours at the mall to see Santa. I wore stupid shoes that day and by the time we were done I thought I was going to birth a baby right there in the Santa line. I was dissuaded by the fact that it is not time to have this baby yet, and how white trash can you get? Topped only by birthing at Wal-Mart.
What I am not above is going to the McDonald's play place for Christmas Eve (along with every other racially diverse single father in town). We had so much fun! I'm thinking about making it a tradition, white trash award or not. We were tired and it was perfectly low key after finally settled on opening presents Christmas Eve morning. This was finagled by our asking Santa the day before to come early. Santa on Saturday. Jesus on Sunday. We had our turkey dinner on Monday. Yeah, I don't know the rationale for that one, but it worked. (It might have something to do with a certain someone being stubborn about how long it actually takes a turkey to thaw, but, well, I'm just sayin'.)
I'm afraid we could only get away with our wonky scheduling and random activities because my kids are in a limbo stage when it comes to Christmas. Old enough to be excited and have fun (again, minus the Mall Santa part), but young enough to have no expectations whatsoever. As adults having no expectations can make you a loser and may land you at a dead-end job and married to a useless jerkwad, but as a kid, no expectations makes for the greatest Christmas ever! As long as you find a furry pink cat under the tree. Which she did. So I guess there were a few expectations.
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