The nice camera, that I don't know how to use properly (yet), was sent halfway around the world this morning. Less than twelve hours later I'm seriously regretting it because I would have liked to capture Porkchop eating his very first In n Out burger. He ate almost the whole thing. Porker. Oh, and on the very same day he signed "more" consistently. Funny porker.
I don't know where we store the cat food. Problem? Not for me. I'm still really, really, really ticked off at that stupid piece of feline crap. And PETA? Go ahead. Report me. They can kiss my lily white too, if what they say is true. Apparently, according to my sources, I am A #1 in their book. At least on a really, really bad Mother of the Year Award Day where I sit in the parking lot of McDonalds at 10:26am pleading for the next four minutes to be sucked out of life in a time warp so I can get some blasted chicken nuggets, I will always have that I have done my part. I mean it really was so,so, so nice of us adopt a child. We have done our part to "curb our reproductive habits". They are giving away a free vasectomy in honor of National Infertility Awareness Week. When it was pointed out to them that maybe, just maybe, it might be at least a less than awesome idea their response was..."While we recognize that infertility is a difficult issue for many people, we continue to support adoption of human children and companion animals alike. With nearly 7 billion people on the planet, and a crisis of vanishing resources, it is crucial-- for humans and animals -- that we curb our reproductive habits." PETA insensitive? Well, knock me over with a feather!
And only because my husband might read this, and he's got enough on his mind at the moment, the cat is fine. I know he's got a lot on his mind because I get all the e-mails from Amazon and the Kindle downloads. The list was eclectic to say the least and made me laugh.
"Mom. It's a problem."
"What's the problem?"
"Cheepies come from eggs. And eggs come from cheepies."
The age old question has been asked by my Scrunch at a very young age.
Because I try to sometimes practice what I preach, I sat down tonight to compare my bill from the hospital to my insurance recap. Health literacy! Bwahaha! I sat through an entire training on breaking down barriers to people taking control of their healthcare this week. Funny idea! I have one solid solution....Don't print hospital bills or insurance recaps in Latin. Or whatever dead language that was. I didn't take an advanced degree in Aeronautics Design Engineering to realize that our insurance premiums that we've paid for the last eight years, even when we had nothing and were working our way through as a wait staff in a restaurant, has been totally worth it! Holy Crap-a-dilly! If some little punk punches my Porkchop in the nose during a Church Ball brawl I'm going to have to rip his arms off! My little dudes face will be worth more than my house. Rising healthcare costs?! Bwahaha! There's another one!
"Mom, can you play hide and seek with me?"
"In a few minutes. Mommy needs to pump and then we'll play."
"I need Papa to buy me a pink pump so I can pump pink milk from my body."
Another Mother of the Year Award moment. My daughter knows what "pink" milk is. Is this where I confess to my love Strawberry Milk that incorporates itself into every one of my celebrations or to a few too many viewings of Pinkalicious on the Ipad?
Happy Friday! At least I think it's Friday. All the days kind of start running together when there is no open and close of the garage door to mark the beginning and end of your day. Oh, yes. We've all noticed that Papa is not home yet.