Dear Amy,

I left out the part about where when I went to pick up the gas powered air compressor. There was a leak in the gas cap so I had to drive down the highway with the windows rolled down so as not to fumigate my Creatures. Then, even though it took three hefty sized men to load the sucker into my car, I'm only married to one not-so-hefty dude so it took a little creativity to get the blasted thing out. Are you sure you want to go anywhere with me?

In the last two days I have been to Home Depot three times. My Husband once. I am seriously considering moonlighting as a shuttle driver to and from the place. If you still want a ride, send me a text, I'm sure I'm on my way there.

If my Husband thought I'd listen, I'd be grounded from there. He wouldn't dare ground me to my room though because I've been talking about stenciling the headboard wall.

Normally, I would welcome the help, but the stuff I'm using is practically covered with skulls and crossbones. It goes much further than the usual, "These contents are known to the State of California to cause birth defects" and straight up requires a mask and chemical resistant gloves. Due to your current state, I hesitate to accept your help. Thanks anyway.

You are always welcome in my home. Whether to just point, laugh, and shake your head or refill my jug of Crystal Light, I welcome the company.

Oh, and I know you didn't ask, but I'll pretend you did.

"Heaven's to Betsy girl! What on God's green Earth are you working on anyway?"

Well, I don't know if I mentioned it any less than a thousand times, but I exclusively pumped for eleven months. My reward to myself was to hire the very talented Danielle Oakey to design a mood board for my family room. I'm now making it happen. It's been a giant pain in the butt, but (ha! I typed butt but) it should be worth it!

P.S. This is my response to Amy's comment on my last post.

P.P. S. I don't think Amy would ever say "Heaven's to Betsy!" I made that part up.

P.P.P.S. I wasn't joking about welcoming the company. Anyone who wants to point, laugh, or just shake their head at me is welcome at my house. Bring some Crystal Light, would ya? I'm almost out.