Tender Mercies

I said to myself, "Self, you went for two years feeling like you were a freak. The only one, and you can't let anyone else feel like that. You can't!!"

So, I don't.

Instead, I talk openly about infertility and adoption. I think it might freak some people out. Many times it opens the door to some of the stupidest comments I've ever heard. But my favorite times is when someone says to me, "REALLY??? Thank you. It's so good to know I'm not the only one."

And it has happened more than once, and lately more and more frequently. The more open I become about it, the more people confide in me.

Last week, I met the oldest member yet of the IFC. She was ninety-three years old. And even with her child bearing years LONG gone, it was still a tender subject. I'm not sure why she decided to open up to me but during our visit she looked at me with that look and said, "We were never able to have children."

I almost lost it.

I sat and held her hand and I told her that I was so, so, so sorry. And then she said, "It makes you feel like a freak doesn't it?" And I hadn't even said anything to her about our situation. I finished up my assessment and our visit. As I left she patted my hand and said, "I'm so glad you came to see me."

I will never forget her. And I wonder... Was she an answer to my prayers, or I to hers? Weird how that works, huh?