Monday, August 10, 2009

It's not enough.

I wasn't a very good mommy yesterday. Or the day before. I was sick. And tired. And sick of being sick and tired. And somehow even though I am young, healthy, educated, make a good living- there are times I lack the physical energy and emotional strength to be everything that my daughter needs me to be. I can't do it all myself. And I don't. Yet I remain confident that she does not lack in any way.

Saturday I fell asleep for several hours to the sound of Scrunch and her Papa doing puzzles in the next room and hearing him ask if she could say certain words. I slept knowing that when I woke up she would be fed, clothed (but maybe not in matching clothes), and running around happily.

When people ask me why our Birthmother chose to place, the answer is very simple. She wasn't that young. She was healthy, working on her education, able to make a living, and completely supported by her friends and family in single parenting. And yet she still chose to give her child more than she could offer. A family with both a mom and a dad. In her wisdom, she knew that just mom isn't enough.


Marti said...

Well said. Hope you feel better soon and thank goodness for great husbands!

Holly said...

I second that!!!

Miquela said...

You better be popping the Vitamin C so that you are feeling better come Thursday.

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