My Happy Place

Second only to my continual struggle with controlling what comes out of my mouth, comes my constant inability to turn off my brain. It rapid-fires in the middle of the night waking me up and leading to needless worry over things I have little to no control over. All day long I am making lists and plans for things I need to/want to accomplish as a mom, a wife, a nurse, a woman. As a talk radio junkie the narrative in my head is perpetuated. What are they thinking? Are they thinking? Why can't I stop thinking?

This is why people hike, and run, and exercise. To take a break. Relax. It doesn't work for me. It turns into only scheduled thinking and scheduled worry. I struggle to find that zen-like space where you are totally relaxed and think about nothing. A Happy Place.

I've always been attracted to horses. Whether it has been because it was the one pet I've never owned, or just something in my genes- horseback riding has always appealed to me. And so I've found my happy place. I think about where my feet are at while I groom, keeping my heels down, not squeezing with my knees, knuckles up, weight in my feet, balance point, prepping for the turn, letting him walk out, and fifty other things all at the same time. But nothing else.