Saturday, May 10, 2008


I know, I know. I missed a day. We came home last night totally wiped out. I think I fell asleep five minutes after Little Miss went to bed. But I have a very good excuse...I have a three month old, we moved this week, two dogs, and we were asked to speak at the Birthparent meeting at LDSFS. I was exhausted and somewhat emotionally drained.

Here I was all week gearing up to rant about Mother's Day and how it's a chance for people with eight kids to rub their fertility in your face and make you sit in Sacrament while the speakers go on and on about how birthing children is your only purpose in coming to Earth. And then my attitude took a sudden detour. I got a call from Melissa...

Melissa is the Birthmom counselor for LDSFS. She asked if Husband and I would speak at the birthmom meeting this week. She wanted us to share our experience and bear our testimonies about adoption. What?! Are you sure? Anyway, I'm trying to think of what I'm going to say to these women besides "Have I got some friends for you to meet!" or "Hang on to my name and number. I'm the irreverent one, with really short hair, and the weird name."

So, I'm in the shower Friday morning and I have one of those epiphanies...The ones where you're sure the heavens just opened up and you've realized something that is going to be essential to your salvation..o.k. maybe not quite, but it was big.

We know that there is this Master Plan. And Father in Heaven knows each one of us individually and we each have a plan. And then I realized he loves us so much that even when we are stubborn and fight against what is best for us and make different choices, there is a backup plan. I'm not saying that Adoption is a backup plan. Just follow me for a minute. So then I'm thinking...There is a plan for John and I and there is a plan for Candice. But then I realized that there is just as much a plan for Kensley as the rest of us. She had just as much right to be raised in a home as the next child. Her plan just includes all of us. And suddenly I looked at our infertility so differently. If we had a child about to go to nursery and another on the way, we would never have even considered adoption, obviously. And all at once I felt peace about the struggles we've been through. Not just peace, but overwhelmingly blessed. We were blessed to be included in Kensley's plan.

I didn't share any of this at the meeting. We just went and talked about our experience and how much we love Candice. I've never used her name before because we try and be somewhat private about her, but after yesterday I'm totally excited. We are the lucky ones! It was so humbling to sit in front of these women and talk about how we felt. They are so strong and brave. My child was not 'given up'. These girls don't 'give their babies away', they are making a choice. If we believe that our eternal destiny will be predicated upon our choices, then it is my belief that there will be a special spot reserved for these great women. Our birthmom was amazing, and we love her. We knew her before and we will know her again. She had lots of options and she made a choice. She chose us to parent, and for that we will be eternally grateful.

Happy Birthmother's Day! We love you.


Holly said...

Amen sistah!

Fred and Char said...

Heavenly Father knows all. We are blessed to a part of Blakes plan. We adopted him at 4 1/2 years old from the Republic of Moldova.
Happy Mother's Day

Anonymous said...

WOW Netty. I am so happy for you and John and for Kensley - and HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! Giving birth is the easy part of being a mom and I dont mean to imply its easy. Little Miss is exactly where she needs to be for everyone's benefit. She has the perfect parents for her walk on this planet and you are right - everything has worked perfectly and according to plan. Im glad you are on board. She is perfect, your circumstances are perfect, she has the perfect parents and while life sometimes doesnt seem perfect - it really is. For whatever it is worth, I am very proud of your outlook and I hope you really enjoy this Mother's Day - your first of many. We love you guys and love to see you happy. Rach says Happy Mother's Day too. We really hope it is for you.

Carlykins said...

I found your blog through clicking around. I am a part of the Adoption world by being a Birth Mom! Unless you are a part of it there is NO way to explain it. Just peace,just makes sense. just the answer to many prayers on both sides. It is what's right for those involved. Everybody's journey is different, unique, written for themsleves by the master author. I have learned that others experiences don't have to make since just like their choices don't but I don't have all the pieces and I wasn't the one praying or involved in the solution. I can't judge nor should I. Although it is frustrating when I feel passionate myself about something and want to CONVINCE someone of my feelings and have them understand or make sense of what I feel. All in all I LOVE adoption and I am MORE then grateful for the opportunity to have it in my life! Truly a blessing in every way.

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