Awkward Moments

For the record...If I EVER run in to any of you at Victoria's Secret, I really don't care to know what you're doing there. Honestly, I don't need or want any explanation. You don't even have to acknowledge me. Just make your purchase and be on your way. Unless we are shopping together, you never saw me and I never saw you. It creates a very awkward moment. Today I ran in to someone from my ward. Ewww! Apparently his wife's birthday is this week. I soooo did not need to know that. If I had been thinking, (more than trying to get the throw up taste out of the back of my throat) I would have told him I was shopping for Husband's Easter basket. (Ha ha! Your turn for the throw up taste.)

I did however have a very good laugh and for some reason it triggered memories of some other very awkward moments from my life. I laughed all through the mall this afternoon while shopping with Little Miss. I'm sure people think I'm nuts...some crazy lady laughing to herself as she tries on shoes but, what's new?

Some of the best ones that I could think of are -

- My first kiss. (Ewww! Here comes that throw up taste again.)

- Having my dad show up to drive me home at 4 am from my boyfriend's house. Yes, John knows about it. He was there.

- Finding a sandwich in a lady's fat rolls while giving a bed bath. What do you say?

- My first goodbye hug with John. OK, make that our entire first date, considering his little sister was there and she came with him to walk me to the door. So needless to say it was...well...awkward. Good thing it was only a hug. They say you can tell a relationship from your first kiss...well obviously that turned out better than okay. Although it was ELEVEN dates later. I will never let him forget that. My cousin had to ask me, "Jeez, what's wrong with you?!"

-Starting my period while hiking on a date in Zions. Not quite the middle of nowhere but close enough. That's really the real reason John married me. It was either that, or I'd have to kill him, but I was not going to let that one get out. In fact, this is the first time in five years that I've even mentioned it. It went beyond awkward straight to horrifying.

- Picking up a doctor's teeth after he sneezed them off. Yup! I was charting with the doctor to my side. He sneezed and I saw him drop something. I reached down to pick it up before I realized that I was now holding his partial in my hand. All I could do was hand it back to him.

I'm sure there are more. (I was only shopping for one pair of shoes.) It's funny when I think of these moments now because most of them relate to John in some way, from a time where I was still trying to make a good impression. Not that I don't try any more, but things change. In July it will be five years. Half a decade. Wait till it's half a century.That's why when everything is wrinkly and sagging and I can't find my teeth, I know he will still love me. I can't remember the last time I had an awkward moment with him. He knows everything about me. I have no secrets with him.

And if I keep this blogging up much longer, all of cyber space is going to know more than they wanted to know about me as well.

P.S. We're home! And yes mom, Little Miss misses her Grammy!