Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Soap Box

I have a doctor's appt. today, which has me a little on edge. I hate doctor's appts. Nurses make the worst patients. And I find myself on a very large soapbox this morning. If you have never TTC or charted BBTs or kept a written record of how many times you've done the BD, then you may be very bored or not get this at all. But come back tomorrow. I will likely be down from my very tall soapbox by then. I can't stay up here forever. I'm afraid of heights, you know.

So here is the deal. For some women infertilify IS the diagnosis. For whatever reason the woman is by all appearances healthy and no reason can be found to attribute to their infertility. (Very annoying.) For others there is a known cause that's just a real pain in the butt to try and fix. (Also very annoying.) And for others, infertility is a symptom of another medical problem (Again, very annoying.) But most annoying of all is when people (who are often well-meaning), stick their nose in someone's business and point out very obvious suggestions that a friend of a friend's cousin's hair-dresser's dog groomer used to get pregnant-with twins! So unless you know a person VERY well. So well that you discuss your BBTs and charting the BD, then offering advice like "just relax" or "try not to think about it" to someone without a uterus isn't going to be much help, is it? This video sums it up beautifully.



For the record I am not TTC. And for probably not the last freakin time! Adoption is not a cure for infertility. And I kind of resent the insinuation that we would bring a child into our home and love her and raise her in the hopes of getting knocked up. Now you can say what you want to me. I am a big girl. I can take it. But if you ever, at any point, make my kid cry or make her feel like less, then it is personal. VERY personal! And I will rip your arms off and beat you with them!

To some good friends, and soon to be good friends, and all that they have been through, all that we have been through, and to all those girls who have yet to go through it- this is my shout out to the IFC! You are a tough chick. This totally sucks. Life is not fair. I love you!

If you have been a good sport and not been frightened away by my rant and have read along anyway, then I will share a tip with you. The greatest, most supportive, comforting thing a friend who did not have a perspective on this ever said to me was, "...I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how you must feel..." This is why I refer to her as Saint Keep-her-name-confidential-because-she-reads-my-blog.

**FYI** Should you ever find yourself in an infertility forum, or completely lost on my blog, this is what they are talking about. RE= Reproductive Endocrinologist, TTC= try/trying/tried to conceive, BBT= basal body temperature, BD=Baby Dance, OPK= Ovulation Predictor Kit,IFC= Infertile Club

3 comments:

Miquela said...

I love you Yannette. I hope you know that you have four very proud sisters and four very proud aunts of little Miss, not to mention a grammy and gramps, who would be more then willing to hold down the person while you beat them...That is if we can refrain ourselves from not ripping off their head first.

Holly said...

I love it when you are up on your soap box:) You know all too well what I think on this lovely subject.....I could go on and on and on.....You're the best!

mousemovie said...

Biology does not a family make...
We know that better than anyone, right, kiddo...
Love you all....

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